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The 4th Line Banger
Top Prospect



USA
38 Posts

Posted - 12/16/2010 :  22:14:32  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
As I was walking through the tundra I stumbled upon a satchel half frozen to the grounds. I dug that satchel out and of the snow, carried that bag all the way home, and found all the NHL’s letters to Santa.

Here are the highlights.

Dear Santa,

Would you mind sending Dustin Byfuglien back north a litte bit??

Sincerely,
The Bowman’s (Scottie and Stan)

Dear Santa,

Can you please make sure Sidney Crosby gets a razor soon?? Not only is he making me look bad on the ice but he is one sexy beast with that ‘stache. I can’t concentrate on scoring goals when he is wearing that caterpillar on his lip.

Sincerely,
Alex Ovechkin

Dear Santa,

I want just a couple of things. A coach, a 5 year reduction of my goalie’s age, a few first round draft picks, and $100 million in cash. It’s not too much to ask.

Sincerely,
Lou Lamoriello

Dear Santa,

One more draft pick and a new downtown arena. Billionaires need wishes to come true as much as the next guy.

Sincerely,
Daryl Katz

Dear Santa,

The like me, they really like me. Thanks!! I knew last year’s wish of Jaroslav leaving would come true!!

Sincerely,
Carey Price

Dear Santa,

Just a nickel. A nickel for every guy who said we are too old, not good enough, and don’t have a good enough goalie. I’ll see you morons in June.

Sincerely,
Mike Babcock

Dear Santa,

A glimmer of hope. I worked by bag off to find some tool willing to lose money in Phoenix for the past 18 months and when I finally found him Atlanta is almost dead. Just another few years and I can retire. Let the next guy bring hockey back to Canada. Please?????

Sincerely,
Gary Bettman

Dear Santa,

E-mail reverse button. ‘nough said

Sincerely,
Colin Campbell

Dear Santa,

I once played in Florida. Then I was the Captain of the Canucks. Now I have nothing. Please find me an excuse for my upcoming playoff failure.

Sincerely,
Roberto Luongo


Dear Santa,

Could you invent hockey Viagra? I’m looking for some stamina. I promise I won’t call the doctor after 4 hours.

Sincerely,
Sidney Crosby

Dear Santa,

A better post-career agent. Battle of the Blades?? Seriously.

Sincerely,
Jeremy Roenick

Dear Santa,

A reputation. My money can do the rest.

Sincerely,
Jim Balsillie

Dear Santa,

A couple of new ankles and an open minded GM.

Sincerely,
Peter Forsberg

Dear Santa,

No lock out/strike in 2012 and NHLer’s in Sochi.

Sincerely,
Every NHL Fan.

Dear Santa,

One time and one time only, no top 10 draft pick.

Sincerely,
The Leaf’s Faithful

Dear Santa,

I will give back Gagne for a decent ‘keeper. Make the deal. I am Steve friggin Yzerman. Give me that Russian kid. Bobviski?? Roberovksi?? Whatever, you know who I mean.

Sincerely,
Steve Yzerman

Dear Santa,

Something, anything, a tiny bite of NHL other than really bad commercials.

Sincerely,
Wayne Gretzky and Mark Messier

Dear Santa,

One swan song. The Rangers win the Cup and I will retire. Then Mess might stop calling me crying and take the job on Broadway. Man that guy cries a lot. I don't care what you promised "Gretz."

Sincerely,
Glen Sather

Dear Santa,

A brawl, a sex scandal, or a ponzi scheme arrest. I have not been in the news for almost a year. I need the spotlight.

Sincerely,
Patrick Roy



Dear Santa,

A Zdeno Chara slapshot to Pierre McGuire’s face. Right around the mouth. Not enough to hurt him too bad, but enough for a jaw being wired shut for about 8 months.

Sincerely,
Every TSN watcher

Dear Santa,

A playoff spot.

Sincerely,
Brian Burke and Ron Wilson

Dear Santa,

Something to wash off this 'guyliner.' Stupid Battle of the Blades.

Sincerely,
Theo Fluery


Dear Santa,

A Merry Christmas for all the member of Pick Up Hockey. Great Hockey, great discussions/debates, and a Happy, Healthy, and Prosperous New Year for all.

Sincerely,

The 4th line Banger


PS –Feel free to add you own Dear Santa letter.


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Edited by - The 4th Line Banger on 12/16/2010 22:25:04

semin-rules
PickupHockey Veteran



Canada
1915 Posts

Posted - 12/17/2010 :  06:10:00  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Aha these are great !!
I love the tsn one
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